It is soo easy to get lost among all this chaos, some days, after a long day of refereeing children, doing house chores, and just living, at the end of the day it's easier to sit down and vegg out catching up on all your shows on Hulu, than it is to even think about opening up your Bible and praying or study God's word. There are days where it's like, I purposely turn up the volume on my tv to drown out that nagging voice in the back of my head, "If you have time for this, you have time to finish your devotional today." And it is hard, because, I'd say 7 times out of 10, I finish anything I'm watching or often times will fall asleep even if I had the intentions to pray before bed that night. It's something I have been working on for years, I get better for awhile, and then, life just catches up and often times while I have every intention to , i just dont. (GASP!!) For awhile, I let it get to me too. I felt like, I wasn't good enough, i didn't let myself think of the times that day I had prayed with a friend, or for a stranger. I discounted the times I sang out with my all to the worship songs playing on Air1 in the background while I was doing dishes or the times my kids and I danced around the living room jumping and singing to God. See, for the longest time, I believed the lie that, you are only a good christian if you read your bible every night. I knew ladies at church who just blew me away with how much knowledge they knew about the Bible but when it came to personal convictions or hearing the voice of God, all they could do was quote scripture vs being able to give life testimony. God wants a relationship with us, he desires to be close to us, one way we can do this is through his word , yes, but it's not the ONLY way. When your heart and mind are right with God, you praise him always. You can't stop talking about him to your friends or family.
I have this amazing friend I've known since High School, and in high school through most of our adult life, tho we were never super close at the time, I was always someone she knew she could come to. As a girl who had gotten hurt by religion, she wasn't much into going to church or even believing in God at times, but, no matter what she endured, she would call me, and ask me to pray for her. She would literally say "I dont feel like praying, " or "I dont think i can pray, but will you pray for me?" She came to despise me off and on, because , as hard as it was for me, I always told her what God was asking me to relay to her and, it was hard for her to hear. Mind you, I'm not a perfect christian, (is there such thing as one?) but, i try to live my life by setting examples. Not drinking, not doing drugs, going to church, being involved etc, but you know that it wasn't any of those things that ever mattered to her? My Christian appearance or life wasn't what mattered to her, it was, my heart for her. My friendship to her. While other Christian friends I had in school shunned me and told me I was wrong for befriending girls who weren't "Christian" . I was seen as this Rebel Christian I guess , to where everyone talked about me. But it didn't stop me. If Christ sat with sinners, then so could I, and I did. Being that consistent person for my friend to fall back on, led us, now 14yrs later, to be very close personal friends, and after years and years of trials she's endured, this girl knows who God is on such a deep spiritual intimate level. All because I was consistent in love. I may never of been good at being consistent in reading God's word, or even memorizing scripture, but, my heart has always been in the right place, my heart has always shown those who are lost or broken that there is hope, and God truly DOES love them despite what the world says and who the World says God is, I showed them who he is by remaining true to my friendship with them, by consistently showing love, and by just sharing with them who God is .
